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19. Celebrating at Dans Le Noir?

30/8/2017

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Photo of family members in the lounge at Dans Le Noir? with John wearing his 50 badge; inset photo - 50th birthday cake.
A few weeks ago, for my husband’s 50th, we took 17 family members to Dans Le Noir (http://london.danslenoir.com/en/home/). For those of you that don’t know, Dans Le Noir is the ‘dining in the dark’ restaurant where, as the name suggests, you eat in the dark (total dark!). So John decided he would like to do something a bit different for his birthday and rather than taking everyone bungee jumping, he opted for this experience. John and I had been there last year and really enjoyed it but we were unsure how it would be for everyone else. Our ages ranged from 13 – 81, all sighted people and most with little (or no) experience of vision impairment.

So apart from the logistics of getting everyone there (which was comparatively easy apart from taxi’s not turning up to take us to the train station) we all arrived okay. As a surprise for John, I had booked a private room which also had its own lounge. Juan was our host for the day and welcomed us warmly. We then went through taking off all jewellery, watches, glasses etc and putting phones and bags in a safe place. My brother was a little unnerved removing his glasses as he then couldn’t see very clearly at all, but he was reassured that he would be guided into the restaurant and from then on glasses would be of no assistance whatsoever! The jewellery, watch and phone removal is to ensure nothing with any light reflection goes into the restaurant, but also ensures you don’t have anything with you that you are going to put down and then be unable to relocate or knock to the floor! Everything else is left outside so there are no trip hazards in the restaurant.

 
We were then introduced to Jack – our waiter for lunch. Jack is registered blind, as are all the waiters at Dans Le Noir. Jack then lead us table by table into the restaurant. As we had 2 tables, 1 of 9 and one of 8, the first 9 people made a single file line and then each put their right hand onto the shoulder of the person in front with Jack the waiter as the lead. In this way everyone made their way into the restaurant.  It was at this point that everyone realised exactly how dark the restaurant was! Although we’d been there before, both John and I said we both experienced the same feeling of trepidation as your sight is completely taken from you. Jack seated each person in turn by guiding their hand onto the back of their chair and allowing them to feel their chair before seating themselves. Jack then repeated this with the other table of people.
 
And then began the dining experience! Prior to the day, everyone had chosen whether they wanted to follow the white (surprise), red (meat), blue (fish) or green (vegetarian) menu. Other than these choices none of us had any idea what we were going to eat – all part of the tasting experience!
 
Firstly, Jack bought us our water bottles – apparently part of the experience is to pour the water into your own glass! As we also had surprise cocktails to drink, I think a lot of people focussed on these and avoided the water pouring experience, but several attempted it using a variety of techniques with varying degrees of success although no major spillages. Most involved putting a finger into the glass to gauge the water level (ok with your own drink and cold drinks but not so great for pouring for anyone else or for hot drinks which is why, I guess, tea and coffee is only served after dinner in the lit lounge area!)
 
When serving the cocktails, Jack kindly warned us that the cocktails had straws in them, very useful information to save accidental injury! A lot of debate was had about the content of the cocktail – passionfruit and strawberry were the keen favourites.
 
We were then each served with our starters – luckily for Jack, I thought his ‘where’s my little vegetable’ comment quite amusing as I was the sole vegetarian of the group!! In fact, Jack's sense of humour and general attitude really helped everyone to relax and enjoy the fun element of the meal rather than worrying about the darkness. As my starter contained sliced fennel, I spent quite a bit of time with the curve not quite fitting in my mouth and tapping me instead on the side of my face. As quite a distinguished flavour it was easy to identify, but other items were less so. Whilst most people could get an idea of what they were eating (i.e. fish, meat, potato etc) being able to taste exactly what it was proved more difficult (I don’t think anyone got kangaroo!). During the main course, one of the party found himself without dinner, which, although confused, Jack quickly rectified by bringing another meal. However, it later transpired that my son was convinced his plate had 4 sections whereas everyone else’s had only 3. We reckon he’d somehow ended up with 2 plates (I don’t think on purpose). People did manage to eat most of their meals with their knives and forks (or so they tell me) but as none of us could see each other or the mess we were making, it didn’t really matter and no-one needed to be too self conscious. The restaurant do provide extra size napkins too!
 
We were then led out of the room by Jack and back into the lounge area where John was greeted with his birthday cake (thank you again to Dans Le Noir for being so accommodating) and where tea and coffee was safely served.
 
We also looked through the menus to find out what we had actually eaten, with quite a few ‘oh reallys’ to be heard. Then my Mum realised that the room we had eaten in was now empty so we went back in to have a look. As I said before, we were seated at 2 separate tables and on entering the now lit room, were all really surprised at the room layout – although we had been able to hear the other table and know vaguely their location in the restaurant, we hadn’t realised the exact positioning. We also hadn’t realised that there was a large pillar in the middle of the room that Jack had obviously been expertly avoiding throughout service. The best part was that my brother had been seated at the head of the table on one of the lounge chairs (due to us having one extra number to their normal capacity), rather than the standard dining chair­­s the rest of us were sat on. Several people commented on this but as my brother
pointed out, in the dark he’s completely missed that he was special, assuming we were all sat on the same!
 
On leaving the restaurant, we met Jack outside waiting for a lift or taxi. We thanked him again for his help (having explained who we were – although he said he recognised our voices anyway!).
 
General comments from the day:
 
‘Wow, what an experience’
‘I realise how much I eat with my eyes’
‘I’m getting my friends to do that when I invite them for dinner’
‘Makes you think – in the restaurant, Jack was the one completely in control and we were the ones who were dependent on him’
 
I would certainly recommend this for both the food and the experience.  Thank you to Dans le Noir (https://www.facebook.com/DansLeNoirLondon/) and also our families for making it such good fun!
 
We’re always interested to know about other people’s experiences and thoughts. Has anyone else been to Dans Le Noir? Or interested in going? Please share by commenting…
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Interested to learn more about VIDA Training? Read about our Training and Consultancy packages, specialising in Vision Impairment and Disability Awareness, Communication and Team Building or contact us for further information
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18. Red Velvet and Messy Church

23/8/2017

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Picture
Yes, surprisingly there is a link but not craft related and it links a bit to last week’s shopping post by Dave… So as you know if you’ve been on our training, one of our other interests is food – especially trying new stuff. So the other day I (Vicky) bought in some new Red Velvet Crunch Cream biscuits to nibble on at work. When I said to Dave what they were he queried what Red Velvet was. So I said, like the cake I guess. What cake?? It’s amazing how much we just gather visually, seeing Red Velvet cakes in the shops, at cake sales etc. giving us the opportunity to try new things or find out more about them …and here’s the link to Messy Church – we were providing some training at a church venue and I was clearing some of the previous craft items out of the way and said I expected that they were from the ‘Messy Church’ – again Dave queried what on earth I was talking about (not uncommon in itself) and having explained I then wondered how I knew myself as I’m not a church goer. But I’ve just seen all those big banners outside the churches as I drive past. Another example of just gleaning info in passing. And whilst neither are essential things to know for most of us, there’s still that element of missing out….
 
We’re always interested to know about other people’s experiences and thoughts. Please share these by commenting…
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Interested to learn more? Read about our Training and Consultancy packages, specialising in Vision Impairment and Disability Awareness, Communication and Team Building or contact us for further information.
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17. Shopping for bargains

16/8/2017

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Dual photo showing (on the left) a rack of sweets with the sign 'buy one get one half price' and (on the right) a shop window with a sign saying 'M&S sale, up to 60% off'.
Whilst out in town with my family the other day, it really dawned on me how frustrating living with sight loss really is. I used to like going in to town and looking around the shops, browsing the aisles and seeking out the bargains. I enjoyed being able to compare items or choose things that I liked.
 
Nowadays people generally moan about going to the supermarket, what a chore it is and how frustrating it is when they have moved things around so you can’t find them, but think of it from my point of view.
 
I have to have support to do any kind of shopping nowadays. I can’t see well enough to walk in to a shop, pick up the things I want or need and take them to the till to pay for them. No, I have to locate a member of staff (finding the shop door can be a challenge let alone finding someone that works there) and then wait, sometimes for up to 30 minutes, before a member of staff is available to help. I then have to explain what I’m after and rely on this unknown person that they are going to find me what I need. I have learnt not to trust them (sadly) as, in previous shopping expeditions, I have purchased the wrong items due to the member of staff not putting in to the basket what I have asked for – an example is when I bought a pair of jeans, I told them my waist and leg measurements and what colour I was, to get home and find out that they had sold me a pair that were the wrong size.
 
I appreciate that I am able to get support from staff, but it is the browsing that I miss. I am often unaware of what is on offer or of new products unless someone makes me aware of them. I also find that members of staff only offer me the cheapest items on sale. I have learnt to ask what else is available and have surprised the member of staff when I have chosen a higher priced item – sometimes I think that they assume that I can’t afford a more expensive item; maybe they think I don’t work due to being blind??
 
Maybe as technology improves, there’ll be an app that recognises what items are around me and automatically informs me of the bargains, offers and of new products enabling me to make a more informed choice rather than relying purely on the person supporting me.
 
We’re always interested to know about other people’s experiences and thoughts. Please share these by commenting…
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Interested to learn more? Read about our Training and Consultancy packages, specialising in Vision Impairment and Disability Awareness, Communication and Team Building or contact us for further information.
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16. Going on holiday…

9/8/2017

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Photo of the sun setting over a beach, looking out to sea
As my sight has deteriorated, holidays have become less enjoyable due to a range of reasons. I think, on the whole, it’s probably me putting up barriers to going away but some of them, in my opinion, are reasonable and understandable.

I know, I know, what a bore and how miserable I am… And even when my lovely wife, Kelly, keeps telling me that she’ll be there and we’ll do it together and have fun with the children, I still struggle to look forward to getting away.

The thought of taking a holiday, maybe flying to somewhere hot with golden sands and clear blue water sounds lovely and something that I should look forward to, but the reality is that they become less enjoyable to me. Any holiday, no matter where the destination, becomes unfamiliar territory and thus makes me dependent on support from those I’m holidaying with.

I guess I find getting away more difficult because I’ve had sight and now can’t see what I used to. I would therefore have seen the different landscapes, colours, sites of interest, etc. but now I only get blocks of blurriness. I can learn to navigate the new accommodation pretty quickly and normally by the end of a week can get around without banging in to things but beyond the parameter of this I need support.

I know that I’m not the only vision impaired person who thinks like this, several people that I have spoken to about holidays have the same or similar views. Some say that it’s not a holiday due to the additional concentration and stresses of being in new surroundings and other people have said that it makes them depressed as it reminds them of how little they can manage when out of their familiar surroundings.

So, maybe it’s about time that I re-think what a holiday means to me. Rather than hanging on to what was and how holidays used to be, I now need to admit that I need extra support whilst away. I have to say goodbye to being able to see the different views and sites, and forget about browsing the shops or sitting and people watching but learn to appreciate the new surroundings, smells, noises and textures as well as being able to chuckle (what a great word chuckle is) at how Kelly and the children describe things to me.

I am interested to learn more about how vision impaired people manage on holiday, so if you have any particular tips or have a story to tell, please share them with us by commenting…
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Interested to learn more about us? Read about our Training and Consultancy packages, specialising in Vision Impairment and Disability Awareness, Communication and Team Building or contact us for further information.
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15. ‘Blind Trust’, our thoughts on the novel by Red Széll

2/8/2017

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Photo of the novel Blind Truat by Red Szell in paperback and audio CD with a VIDA Training booklet in the background
Some summer holiday themed posts for August, starting with a possible book to read - Apart from delivering training and as well as food, Dave and I also share a common interest in reading a wide range of books and swapping titles of the ones we enjoy. Following on from reading ' Touching the Rock', Dave came across a book called 'Blind Trust' by Red Széll (http://redszell.com/) which we both decided to read (Vicky in paperback, Dave in audiobook – for those interested and who might like to read it during their summer hols, the paperback’s available on www.amazon.co.uk and eBay.co.uk and the audio book was from RNIB’s Talking Books (TB19304)). This time a novel but written by someone with RP (retinitis pigmentosa) and with the lead character (Joe) having RP (one of the sight conditions that Dave has and hence our particular interest).
 
So, basically the book’s a murder mystery but with lots of references to the lead character’s sight loss woven in as part of that character’s everyday life, including a really good description of sight affected by RP as the opener to the book. Although sometimes a bit depressing (Joe leans heavily on alcohol and cannabis at times in the book) and also with some artistic licence (it is a novel after all) it does bring to life some of the everyday frustrations in a very accessible ‘whodunnit’ type novel. The fact that the lead character has a sight condition with the book written by someone with a sight condition does give it some additional credence in our opinion.
 
A few quotes from the book that we felt cleverly illustrated the everyday effects of living with RP:
‘Momentarily distracted, I had forgotten about the broken paving slab. The tip of my tubular aluminium stick wedged in the crack, driving the rubber covered handle up hard into my ribs and winding me. With crimson flashes of pain erupting through my squirming hundreds and thousands vision, I cursed Camden Council and then, as the buzzing started anew, my mobile’.
‘Having propped my stick up in its usual place, in the corner by the front door…’
‘The sun was still blindingly bright and reflecting off every available surface. My vision was reduced to incoherent blocks of glare and shadow punctured by bright flashes of iridescence that hurt’
‘I like to feel that its sombre interior tips the odds slightly back in my favour, since everyone finds themselves groping their way around its muddle of tables and chairs. Most importantly though it serves proper coffee.’
‘I tapped my way angrily to the bus stop’
‘The ability to look without needing to turn on lights becomes an advantage when you are in a house without the owner’s permission’.
‘She opened the door wordlessly and I had difficulty locating her in the dark hallway. Instinctively I put out my hand to locate her shoulder and my fingers brushed her chest, making us both shudder’
‘There’s no catharsis in an outburst prompted by your own physical degeneration; it’s more like having the valve on a pressure cooker lifted for a few seconds every now and again to prevent a catastrophic explosion.’
 
Although we don't want to turn our VIDA Insights into a VIDA book club we would be interested to hear from anyone who’s read this book and has anything to add or anyone who can recommend other books relating to sight loss in any way.
Please share these by commenting…
Interested to learn more? Read about our Training and Consultancy packages, specialising in Vision Impairment and Disability Awareness, Communication and Team Building or contact us for further information.

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    Our VIDA Insights...

    Following our experiences from delivering our Vision Impairment Awareness training days over the past couple of years, we know that there’s loads more that we could talk about and examples we could have shared. Whilst these won’t be a substitute for our training, they will give you an insight (hence the name!) into our thoughts, observations and experiences from each of our perspectives - Dave’s living with sight loss and Vicky’s from being a sighted person and working alongside and supporting people who have sight loss.
     
    We recognise some of you won’t agree with us or will have your own opinions or comments – after all, as we say loads during our training, everyone is an individual! If you have any comments or thoughts about our ‘Insights’ in particular that you’d like to add, we would love you to share them with us!

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